Pressing pause…
In recent years, life has become a whirlwind of activity. Things have always just bumped along – seasons of chaos were laced with seasons of calm – but when my son started Kindergarten, everything just collapsed. It’s strange to think that just one small change could rock our world. Before starting Kindergarten, my kids went to the same daycare and I could drop them off at the same time on my way to work. But now, with one kid in public school with a set drop-off time, we were faced with a new obstacle…get the kids up, fed, dressed, and out the door by 8:30 am…in addition to packing lunch, getting my own breakfast, and getting myself ready for work. Once the clock struck 5 pm, it was a race to leave the office and get both kids before 6 pm (one from daycare and one from aftercare). Our evenings were just as hectic – dinner, homework, reading, site word practice, baths, and relaxing time all had to happen before 8 pm bedtime. Needless to say, it was a hard year! I lost it…a lot. Lost it on my kids because the older one did not want to do homework and the younger one kept bugging him. Lost it on my husband who usually does not come home until after 7 pm. Lost it on my coworkers because I was stressed out and not able to focus on projects. The laundry piled up, the house was a mess, papers were piled everywhere – schoolwork littered the table, mail lined the nook by the front door – toys were strewn everywhere half played with, half forgotten. Our health was suffering – we had stopped going to the gym, dinners for the kids consisted mainly of macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets because that was the quickest meal to make.
We were living just to get by – to survive Monday-Friday – to get to Saturday hoping some miracle would happen and the house would be clean, the dishes would be done, the laundry folded, and the food prepped. But it didn’t happen and Sunday night rolled into Monday with a more intensified overwhelm than the prior week. Something had to give…but what? I knew that life didn’t have to be this way – there had to be a more simple approach. I dreamed of finding ways to cut through the excess, to be more diligent with housework, to be more present with my family, and to just let go of the stress. I didn’t want to be the person anymore who was constantly agitated, rushing my family around, turning the house upside down looking for things, and just yelling out of frustration. I wanted a life of less busyness and more intention. I had to take a really hard look at how we were living our lives – where we were falling short or inefficient, what were we prioritizing and why, how we were spending our time. As I did this, I realized that everything is intertwined – the chaos, my mind running on full speed, the general mood in the house – all of it.
I found that most of it boiled down to 5 main areas:
1. Clutter/organization
2. Keeping up with the Jonses
3. Routines/schedules/meal plans
4. Guilt over saying no and fear of missing out
5. Overstimulation
I sat down and mapped it all out – coming up with a plan to tackle these areas. Now, one of my biggest weaknesses is that I rarely see things through. I’ve read books on decluttering, I’ve enrolled in cleaning courses, I’ve read books on budgeting, I’ve enrolled in motivational webinars – somethings worked, some didn’t – and most often, I fell off the wagon. While I’m a decent planner, I am not “routinized” in any way. The thing is, during all of that, I had nothing to hold me accountable.
I need accountability, which is why I’m putting my life on the world’s stage for all to see my flaws and weaknesses…in the hopes to grow a community of like-minded people to lift and support each other. Maybe my journey will inspire someone else stuck in the muck and mire of the everyday to break free and simply life and learn to be more present and more intentional.